What happened to me?

How come i found out myself like a beggar?
How come i became so annoying to her?
How come i am like a joker?
How come i sound like a honker?

I know i became like too much for you,
So i must think the very best for you,
I do not want it to end..
So, to avoid my annoyance to you,
I stay put and don't disturb you,
Until you finish filter,
And after the time had pass.

I must be strong =)
Stronger for her
And must be right
To be right for her

Used to have a boring life
until i met her
A girl that colored me so much
And the only girl that changes me
And the only girl that i had chased for so long
love for so long
and so deep

I won't beg her
I won't do anything stupid
She is the person..
persistent, strong, confident,
which i love so much

Her protection of her own self,
Her thoughts, actions, decisions,
Is always what i has respected,

It is better to hurt myself,
rather than hurting her..
is all because i love her :')

I never want to destroy her life
How come this thing happened?
Which i am the one whom made her trust in love,
And now i am the one destroy her trust in love.

I am so sorry to her
How i wish it does not happened..
and we will now still be sweet to each other,
and April should be the day we spent the longest time together..
But.. it won't be happening ...

If April i go there,
Will she really ignore me?
Will she not use her heart to see me?
Will she don't care me alone there?

I am really afraid of loneliness,
And is a foreign place for me,
With strangers all around,
I hope at least...
She will still come and meet me,
as a friend also can...

If i really go there and she do not care,
I think... I would rather... can i say this?
i would rather die hanging in the room @.@
Because this means she totally have no heart for me anymore

Oh well, is all predictions now..
Used to be confirmation,
But all my thoughts...
I tried to tell her now..
She will just treat it as a wind..
Nevermind =)

Time...
Time is precious..
So is she to me =)

And because she is precious to me too
I can wait for time ~

I can't tell her this already since she ask me don't flirt with her =(
So, without breaking this promise i made to her,
I will say it here that .. i love her, Wei Yen only ~ =)

Thanks Blog .. for listening to me..
I became crazy already ..
who can lobotomize me? - when everything goes worst..
So that i would not remember anything again
Although includes my whole life and families
I would rather became stupid in mental hospital
than feeling regret for my life that i had made a wrong move behind her that time ='(